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Conversations
02:49
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When every minute is a mile and my thoughts all turn quite vile, nights like these they all end the same. Well i guess I'll just go home and play my little game of having conversations all myself.
And I'll pass out on the shelf, slurring all the words I've always wanted to shout, I wish these thoughts would get out. When every word is wrong I wish i could be strong but I swear I won't make it out alive, so I'll go ahead and take the dive. Into self righteousness and self-induced plagues of more and more shitty days and shitty nights where i jerk-off until i can fall asleep. I guess I'm just a creep. I'd set myself on fire if i thought that it would help. Instead I'll play the cards I have been dealt.
Where everything revolves around tonight and I just can't help but get into a fight with the thoughts and the fears and the seven fucking beers in my stomach. I wanna run but that won't be fun to explain when I get and I try to relax. Throw my feet up on this ottoman, ass in my favorite chair, maybe, hopefully you just won't fucking care where i went, or what I've seen, or what I've done or who I've been. Seven months till run it'll be your birthday soon and ill make up for all the shitty presents i got you over the three years I've been acquainted with this wonderful source of
stress and relief. of happiness and grief. so I'll make this very brief.
Why won't you give my feet a break and come back.
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I eat cigarettes for breakfast, and coffee for lunch. For dinner I lay in the dirt and wait for the end times to come. I wish I could tell you the truth, but when I do it comes out sounding stupid. But meet me at four in the morning, and see for yourself. Sunrise, sunset, that's all I really gotta know. The rest is a prison that I build for myself. On my worst nights, I'd still burn down the city just for a peaceful night's rest. But here in your arms, my darling, I think that can wait, or I hope it can. We murdered a chicken for breakfast, and ate it for lunch. She was beautiful, she was scrappy, she was mean as they come. And I told her on the way to the chopping block: "Chaos reigns over us all. One day I'll be worm food, but Jenny, first it's your turn." There's sunrise, and sunset, and then there's the day that I die. All the rest is a prison, or else it's a lie. At my worst times, I'd still murder a traffic cop to get out of a ticket. But here in your arms, my darling, police don't exist, or I hope they don't.
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My dog died the other day. He was my best friend for over a decade. He finally died from old age and thats okay.
Started smoking a pack a day again. Started having thoughts of suicide again. Got bored of all I loved again, cause I'm a wreck.
My cousin died the other day. Used heroin to escape. Now he no longer has to feel the pain of everyday.
My rooms a mess cause I'm depressed. I'm overwhelmed and I'm fucking stressed. When it comes to you I'm straight obsessed.
Started smoking a pack a day again. Started having thoughts of suicide again. Got bored of all I loved again. Thought I lost my mind the other day. Turns out I never had it in the first place.
Started smoking a pack a day again. Started having thoughts of suicide again. Got bored of all I loved again. Thought I lost my mind the other day. Turns out I never had it in the first place. I'll kill myself right here right now. Now I know how.
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